Jan 24, 2000
"Amazing. Today I wore my hair in tiny twists all around my head. I curled it, and wore it to school today and I got rave reviews, mad comments--complements--left and right. I was afraid it wouldn't be accepted (until a lot of people start doing it), but it was. I got a comment from a Latino girl saying it was nice and natural, and that it's better than girls who wore thick braids [Jamaican braid extensions]. Well, I liked all the complements. Made me feel good for just being myself :) "
Reflection in 2003
I remember this day so vividly. I remember feeling completely empowered over my hair and wanting to step foot outside of my house with my hair in a natural doo, yet so nervous the moment I stepped foot outside of my house. Every foot I walked from my door to the bus stop I felt serious butterflies in my stomach! I was wearing something strange on my head, something I had never seen anyone else wear, and I was just anticipating the looks and stares I would get, maybe even negative reactions. Usually, people don't try new things until a lot of people start doing it, like a trend! But nooo, I just had to do my own thang. My hair was making a new statement that day whether I was ready for it or not. By the end of the day, I felt that God had come into my life for just that one day--I swear! He came when I was feeling self doubt about myself. He planted these people, most of whom I had never seen or spoken to before, in my life that day to send me love when it was needed. He knows I don't talk a lot, He knows I rarely meet new people. But all of a sudden on this day, people are talking to me... about my hair! All I wanted was to be accepted for who I was, for what I wanted my hair to be. And I felt accepted by the end of the day. So I thank God for always being there when we really need Him and I thank Him for the open-minded and accepting people of this world.
What this means to me today
Those experiences just go to show that although we naturally look for acceptance from others when it comes to something new (in this case, my new hairstyle), it takes confidence from within even leave the house with whatever style you conjured up. It's your confidence that others are seeing, not just the hair.
I know how it feels to be nerves about change. When I first did my natural style my fam laughed and my said "is it suppose to look like that" smh. The crazy part about this whole situation is the people you expect to like your hair the least love it the most. Because white people (well the ones I know) LOVE my natural curls. Asking me all the time how I do it. But the "sisters" don't understand to caught up a stereotypical view of beauty. One had the nerve to say "Looks like you woke up on the wrong side of the bad" it hurts my feeling (btw she had a weave that was down her back she's lucky I didn't ask her how many tracks she had lol)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you can relate :-) Family will be the first to hurt you, but in all fairness I'll say they do that... in love, lol. It took many years for those who were closest to me to accept my natural hair. They would recommend that I get a relaxer to straighten it, not realizing that what they were doing was being un-accepting of the state of my hair, not realizing that it was my choice. It's taken some years but many have eventually come around. I will admit though, that those I trusted I listened to. If I heard "Your hair looks so rough" from these "trusted" people, I took it as "Hmm, ok, maybe I need to figure out how to do this style a little better." I had to translate it into what they really mean, and it helped a lot.
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